The Missing Hour
by MichyGeary
Summary: Where did that pineapple come from, anyhow? Ted/Trudy and the tale of the mysterious fruit. K-plus for mild suggestive themes, nothing too bad. Please read/review!


**Author's Note:** Hopefully I got the characters down. I don't usually write Ted, and I feel like we've gotten three different versions of Trudy -- the fun-loving Trudy we saw before she went home with Ted, the embarassed Trudy the next day, and the sorority Trudy we saw in season three. This fic obviously takes place in season one when Ted took the five shots and wound up sleeping with Trudy. She never did tell the gang about the pineapple -- but here's what happened.

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"So why don't you come over to my place, and we'll think of something stupid to do together? ...Really? Great! ...Wait, really? ...Great!" Ted hung up and turned, holding his phone in both hands and pointing it at Carl. "So that was Robin."

"I gathered," Carl said with a snicker. "You sure you're doing the right thing?"

"Whadd talking about?" Ted slurred. "It's gonna be fine--mmm fine."

"You've had a lot to drink tonight," Carl said. "You're not thinking straight."

"I'm not thinking at all!" Ted shouted proudly, not realizing his own volume. "That's the point."

"Your funeral, buddy."

Ted smiled and sauntered out of the pub, swinging his arms jovially. He danced up the steps and into the building, up to the third floor and into his apartment. He closed the door quietly so as not to wake Marshall and Lily and tossed his keys and wallet on the side table. After ten minutes of pacing around the living room (and seeing how many non-furniture surfaces in the apartment would hold his weight), Ted's phone rang. He didn't recognize the number.

"Ahhhh?" he said when he answered the phone, and then he giggled.

"Hi, Ted?" came a woman's voice on the other end. "Which apartment are you?"

"Robin?" Ted asked. They'd been friends for months; didn't she know which room was his by now?

"No, it's Trudy," the girl said. "You called me about fifteen minutes ago and said to come over, but I don't know which room is yours. Can you come outside?"

Ted paused. Then it occurred to him. He had been calling no one but Robin all night; when he tried to call her ten minutes ago, he just hit the last dialed number. He forgot that Trudy had called her phone to register her number.

"Sure, I'll be right down," Ted whispered. He closed his phone and put it between his teeth while put his coat back on, grabbed his keys, and headed down the stairs to the front of the building. Trudy was standing there looking at him quizzically.

"Why are you eating your phone?" she asked.

"Mhh," Ted mumbled, and he pulled it out of his mouth and slipped it back in his pocket. "I forgot it was there."

Trudy laughed. "Okay."

"So," Ted said. He felt incredibly awkward that he'd called the wrong girl, but he wouldn't admit it.

"So." Trudy grinned. "You wanna go somewhere?"

"The zoo," he said vaguely with a wave of his hand. When she looked confused, he said, "Penguins," as though that somehow clarified.

Trudy laughed again. "Well, the zoo won't be open at this hour."

"Well, then what is?"

"It's New York," she said. "Let's go for a walk." They headed down the road, looking for anything with its lights on, making small-talk along the way. Trudy told Ted about how she had just gotten out of a two-year relationship.

"That sucks," Ted said as if he were talking about something particularly disgusting. "Why would anyone dump you? You're, like, super adorable!"

Trudy giggled. "Right back atcha, slugger." She kept walking a few more feet before she realized that Ted had stopped at a food vendor.

"I'm hungry," Ted decided, staring at the assortment of fruits and vegetables.

"Wow," Trudy said as she backtracked to stand behind Ted. "Why are you open so late?" she asked the vendor, whose name-tag read _Vivek_.

"This is when I get the best business, actually," he said. "People are so busy during the day, no one ever stops by. But right around this time is when all the bars in the area have last call, and all the drunks are out wandering, looking for something else to spend their money on."

"Look at the colors," Ted said mystically. "Everything is so tropical." He brushed his palm over the top of a pineapple.

"You know," the vendor said, "pineapples are a great antidote for hangovers."

"Ooh," Ted said, bouncing his finger against the tip of one of the leaves. "I'm going to have a huge hangover tomorrow."

"In the eighteenth century," Vivek said, leaning over the table at Ted as though sharing an ancient secret, "the Europeans discovered that they could cultivate pineapples even in colder climates if they harvested them in pineapple pits."

"Pineapple pits!" Ted exclaimed as though it were the greatest thing he'd ever heard.

"Wow, you are just bursting with oddball facts about pineapples," Trudy said, somewhat derisively. "Come on, Ted, let's find you those penguins."

"No, I want to hear about the pineapples," Ted said, leaning against the table with his elbows. "Can I have a pineapple pit?"

Vivek laughed. "You can have one of these pineapples for seven-fifty."

"Seven-fifty!" Trudy exclaimed. "That's absurd."

"These are wild pineapples," the vendor explained, "pollinated by South-American bats." Ted, whose fascination was already burgeoning rapidly, looked up with awe.

"Bats?" Trudy asked, sounding disgusted. "How are regular pineapples pollinated?"

"Usually by hummingbirds," Vivek said.

"Hummingbirds!" Ted whispered dreamily, as if that made all the difference in the world. He started to hum, and his melody quickly turned into a silly fit of giggles. "I need a pineapple," he declared, digging through his pockets for his wallet. "I'll take all of them."

"Ted, that's ridiculous," Trudy said. "You shouldn't pay that much for even one pineapple."

"Oh no," he said, patting his coat. "I don't have my wallet." He looked as if he were about to cry.

"Awh," Trudy said, finding him irresistibly adorable. "Hey, if I buy you this pineapple, can we go?"

"Yes!" Ted cried, throwing his arms around her and rocking side to side with a violent sweeping motion. "I love love love you!"

"I'm only buying one," she said, handing the vendor a ten-dollar bill when Ted let her go. He picked up the pineapple he had been stroking earlier.

"We should name him," he said goofily. "Let's name him Fred. Fred and Ted! We could be a super crime-fighting team," he hollered, trying to strike an impressive pose with a punch and a kick, but holding the pineapple made that difficult.

"Thanks Vivek," Trudy said when she got her change back. "Have a good night."

"Good night, you two," he said, mistakenly assuming they were a couple. Neither one corrected him.

"Let's go back to your place," Trudy said. "I think we've had enough excitement out in the city."

"I'm tired," Ted said, dropping slowly to his knees and making to lay down. "I'm just going to sleep here."

"Oh, no you don't," Trudy said, pulling him to his feet. "Come on, I'll hail a cab."

Ted insisted that the pineapple get a seatbelt, so he buckled Fred into the seat behind the driver and took the middle seat himself. "Did you know pineapples are pollinated by hummingbirds?" Ted asked the cab driver. He didn't respond. "Hummingbirds!"

"Apparently, yours is bat-pollinated," Trudy reminded him.

"Right," he breathed. They sat in silence for a few blocks. "I'm sorry I said I love you," Ted said suddenly. "I shouldn't have said that. I just meant you're great. Great as a friend. You're a great friend. You're probably freaking out. I'm so stupid."

"No, I know you were just saying that," Trudy smiled. "I won't hold you responsible for anything you say when you're this drunk."

"Oh, good," Ted said. "I wouldn't want you to think I'm crazy."

Trudy eyed the pineapple in the seat next to him. "Of course not."

They hadn't walked too far, so the cab ride was relatively short and cheap. Trudy paid the fare and helped Ted and Fred out of the cab and up the stairs.

"Thanks for taking care of me," Ted said as he fumbled one-handed with the keys at the door.

"No problem," Trudy said, biting her lip.

"Do you want to come--?" Ted began to ask, but she interrupted by pushing her lips into his. They kissed without breaking contact as they entered the apartment, Ted closing the door behind them by pushing her into it.

"Which one is your bedroom?" she asked breathily between kisses. Ted paused for a moment; the last thing he needed was to go in the wrong room and wake up Lily and Marshall. Trudy giggled at the look of deep concentration on his face.

"This one," he said, directing her into his room and kicking the door closed behind them. She struggled to undress him while he still cradled the pineapple in one arm.

"Ted," she said, "I won't lie and say that I have a problem with threesomes... but I was sort of hoping it would just be the two of us tonight," she said, pointing to Fred.

"Oh, of course," Ted mumbled as he placed it carefully on his nightstand. He cocked his head to the side and eyed it suspiciously for a moment. Then he rotated it slightly. When he noticed Trudy giving him a puzzled look, he clarified, "I don't want him watching."

"You know," she said laughing, "I think that vendor was full of it, but if it's true that pineapples help with hangovers, you'd better eat that whole thing tomorrow."

"Eat Fred?" he asked, looking like a heartbroken child. "I couldn't do that."

"You'll always remember him," Trudy reassured him.

"Yeah," Ted said, pulling her onto the bed with him. "I'll never forget the incredible story of how I got this pineapple."


End file.
